When I'm With You Pt 2: Withdrawal Symptoms
by HannahCarolina
Summary: ARROW AU - After finally becoming a couple, the worst possible thing you can imagine happens to Felicity Merlyn. Her other half is gone and she has to find a way to live without him. Five years of struggling to find yourself and letting go of the person you loved more than life itself.
1. Lullabies

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: LULLABIES**

_Like lullabies you are,_  
><em>Forever in my mind.<em>  
><em>I see you in all,<em>  
><em>The pieces in my life.<em>  
><em>Though you weren't mine,<em>  
><em>You were my first love.<em>

_I wanted to go away with you,_  
><em>And I will leave all my troubles here.<em>  
><em>I wanted to run away with you,<em>  
><em>And I will bring all my dreams and fears.<em>

_Like lullabies you are,_  
><em>Forever in my mind.<em>  
><em>I see you in all,<em>  
><em>The pieces in my life.<em>  
><em>Though you weren't mine...<em>  
><em>Like lullabies you are,<em>  
><em>Forever in my mind.<em>  
><em>I see you in all,<em>  
><em>The pieces in my life.<em>  
><em>Though you weren't mine<em>

_Though you weren't mine,_  
><em>You were my first love.<em>  
><em>You were my first love.<em>

* * *

><p>Funerals were awful. That's one thing Felicity realized. She watched as the empty caskets were lowered down into the graves. Father and son, side by side, but not really. As understandable as it was for her to cry, she was truly amazed at the tear that slipped down her cheek. She honestly thought she had ran out with all the crying she had been doing over the past week. She felt numb, hollow even as she turned around in her coral heels and started walking back towards the house, walking past Thea and Moira, the twelve-year old girl sobbing against her mother's shoulder, clutching a stuffed animal, that Felicity recognized as the plush cat she had given her when she was born, to her chest. Moira looked scarily the same as the face she had seen in the mirror earlier that chilly March morning, red-rimmed eyes, hollowed out cheeks and a pale, greyish undertone to her skin.<p>

Sara's funeral hadn't been any better. It was more intimate than this one, and not on private property but rather at the Starling City Cemetery. Laurel gave a beautiful but heartbreaking eulogy. Everybody cried, including Quentin, who she never, ever had seen shedding a tear before. Anne wasn't there. Felicity supposed it was because it hurt too much, but she hadn't been able to contact her all week so when she hadn't shown up, Felicity had started to worry.

This funeral was different. Felicity didn't know half of the people in attendance, a lot of whom were Oliver's supposed college friends, most of them of the female variety, crying their eyeballs out. The other lot of them mostly were Robert's colleagues and/or competitors. She doubted there weren't at least a few of them that were happy he was dead. This realization only fueled the anger that had built up during the service. It all seemed so unfair. She lost the man she loved. Who she had expected to spend so much more time with. Who she was finally happy with, only for that happiness to be ripped from her grip, so abruptly. She lost one of her best friends. The girl who told her it was okay to fail, as long as you tried. The girl who loosened the tightness in her shoulders, with pranks and things they weren't supposed to do, and oh how Felicity loved that. That feeling of freedom, and rebelliousness. It was Sara who showed her how to have fun, that it was important to let go once in a while.

But, she also lost the man who was more like a father to her than her actual father. The man who had taught her how to fly a kite and change a tire. The man who read her stories of faraway places and distant times. Who made sure she knew how important she was, and how important it was to always look for the good in people.

Her father, the biological one, sat next to her during the service. He didn't say anything to her, for which she was glad, because talking to her slacking father-figure only made the loss of the other hurt worse.

The first thing she did when she entered the mansion's living room was get herself a drink. She ordered a double scotch, making the bartender stare at her in confusion. She knew he was about to ask her if she was twenty-one, but the death glare she sent his way must have persuaded him to cut her some slack. She downed the brownish liquid in two big gulps, tears stinging behind her eyes because of the burn in her throat.

The room slowly started filling up with people, Moira and Thea included. They stood near the window, accepting condolences. Thea wouldn't let go of her mother, understandably. Moira had been holed up in her bedroom, barely responsive, not eating and Thea needed her now more than ever. So what would a twelve year old do? Of course, latch on and never let go.

Felicity looked down at the glass in her hands, shook her head a little and quickly ordered another before the tears stinging behind her eyes had the chance to spill across her cheeks. They fell anyway.

"Uhm, hi. You're Felicity, right?"

Felicity froze at the sound of her name. Slowly, she turned around, looking for the source of the voice. Before her stood a young man, must have been around Oliver's age with pitch black hair, piercing blue eyes and a soft boyish smile across his face. He looked strangely familiar, but she couldn't place him anywhere in her memory.

She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks. "Yes. And you are?"

His eyes went wide. "Oh, right! Sorry."

He held out his hand for her to take. "Tommy. Tommy Smoak."

She hesitated but accepted his hand, shaking it lightly.

"I just wanted to offer you my condolences. Oliver was a great guy."

Felicity swallowed and nodded, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Yeah. He was. Thank you."

The grip on her glass tightened as she pushed back another wave of tears. "Did you know him well?"

Tommy nodded and glanced around the room for a moment. His eyes landed on Laurel who was hugging Moira, her shoulders shaking as she cried. Tommy licked his lips and looked back at her.

"Maybe we could go somewhere private to talk?"

Felicity looked at him for a second and nodded. "Yeah, sure. Follow me."

They ended up in Robert's old study. Well, it still was his study, but since he wasn't with them anymore, should it be called his old study now? Nobody new was occupying it. And never would, Felicity was sure. She tried to push the whirlwind of thoughts running around in her head away, putting them into the 'for later' drawer. She sat down on the little couch pushed against the wall in the back of the study, Tommy sitting down next to her a moment later.

"Oliver and I met at Harvard. We studied business together. He was one of the best friends I had up there."

Tommy smiled softly and shook his head a little. "Always knew where the best parties were and things like that, but he was just a good, likeable, kind-hearted guy."

Felicity nodded in agreement. That was the Oliver she knew. She mentally corrected the way Tommy talked about him in past tense, because Oliver still was all of those things, even now.

"Sophomore year, my scholarship was dropped because of some cut backs. If it wasn't for Oliver, I would have dropped out because I simply didn't have that kind of money. You see, I'm from Vegas, originally. And no, it was not as fun as it sounds. It was just me and my mom up there, and we never really had any luxuries. I was going to change all that when I got into Harvard. But then they dropped my scholarship and it seemed like it was over. And then came Oliver, making sure that I would be able to finish my degree without any money problems. We became roommates at one point and even after he transferred to Central, he still paid the rent to that place so I could live there. He was like some monetary guardian angel."

Tommy chuckled and shook his head a little. "No, but really, besides the financial help that I'm still extremely grateful for, he was a good friend."

Felicity nodded in agreement.

"I wonder why he never told me about any of this." She mumbled.

Tommy shrugged. "That I don't know either. But I do know that he talked about you. All the time."

She stared at him for a second, biting her lower lip, trying to push back the tears welling up in her eyes. She closed her eyes as Tommy put a hand on her shoulder. She wasn't sure if she was ready to hear what she was expecting Tommy to say. She knew Oliver had loved her far longer than they had been together, and it made the loss of him feel so much worse. She was so angry at herself for not being selfish and pursuing something with him. She felt like she should have. She had been in love with him too. If she had just been honest about her feelings than maybe they would have gotten more time. But it was too late for that now, and as much as it hurt, there was no going back. There was nothing that she could do about it.

"Did you two ever get together?" He asked quietly.

She nodded, wiping at cheeks again. Stupid tears couldn't catch a break.

"Yeah. About a month ago."

Tommy scooted a little closer and squeezed her shoulder. "If it's any consolation, he really, really loved you. He may not have known it back then, but the way he talked about you, you just knew he was in love."

Felicity smiled softly, letting out a huff of air. "I know, and I loved him too, so much, but that doesn't really make it hurt less."

Pressing his lips together, he nodded and looked away for a second. "Sorry."

Felicity shook her head. "It's okay, really."

"I remember one time, you were coming to visit, and he spent two hours, maybe more, thinking of the perfect outfit, and what party to take you to. It was ridiculous."

Felicity laughed a little, through her tears. "That must be why you look so familiar."

Tommy nodded and smiled. "Probably, yes. I imagine we must have crossed paths in at least one party."

She smiled back at him before looking away, pressing her lips together, and then smiling again.

"You know, I met him when I was five. He was eight. That day is one of the only memories I have from that age. My mother had just passed away and for the first time since then I was smiling again."

She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her lips. "Oliver does that to you."

Felicity shook her head a little and a strangled laugh escaped from her throat.

"Oh god. He was such an idiot sometimes."

Tommy chuckled and nodded in agreement. She smiled and looked back at him.

"This one time when I was ten. He couldn't have been older than thirteen. We were helping Raisa, the Queens maid, bake brownies or cupcakes, I don't remember what they were, but we kept sneaking batter from the bowl into our mouths. At one point, she caught us, because of course she caught us. We weren't exactly being quiet with our laughter. She asked us what we were doing, with that thick Russian accent she asked us if we were eating the batter. That only made me laugh harder, but Oliver somehow remained completely serious, denying that we had eaten any of it with everything that he had."

She shook her head and chuckled. "Of course, he didn't know he had this giant chocolaty streak across his cheek. We ate so much of that batter that we both ended up sick the next day."

Felicity let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head a little. Tommy smiled softly at her.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. You wouldn't want to hear it"

Tommy started shaking his head before she could finish her sentence.

"No, no. Talking about it is good. I'd love to hear your stories."

Felicity looked back at him, smiling. "Thank you. I don't really have someone to talk to."

"I mean, Oliver is gone. Sara, Laurel's sister and one of my best friends is gone with him. My other best friend is stuck at med-school in Stanford. There's no way I'm gonna talk to my dad. Thea is too heartbroken. So is Moira. Sara's girlfriend, who her family doesn't even know about, was also a good friend to me, but after Sara's funeral she seems to have vaporized into thin air. That basically leaves my elderly ex-driver, Frederick."

Tommy stifled a laugh. "I'm sorry. But that is just a ton of suck."

She nodded and chuckled softly. "Well aware."

Two short knocks interrupted their laughter. Felicity whipped her head around to see Laurel stepping inside the study. Her eyes were red-rimmed like her own, dark hair pulled into a bun. She looked hesitant but smiled softly as she met Tommy's gaze.

"Uhm, hey. Sorry to interrupt. They said you two were in here."

"That's okay." Tommy said, smiling at her.

"I was just wondering if you guys wanted to get out of here. I need to go somewhere where people won't judge me if I drink myself stupid."

Both Tommy and Felicity nodded.

"That'd be nice." Felicity said. "We'll be out in a minute."

Laurel smiled half-heartedly. "Great. I'll go get our coats."

She turned away, closing the door behind her. Felicity turned to Tommy, a small grin on her face.

"What is it?" Tommy asked. Felicity only grinned wider.

"So? You and Laurel? What's the deal there?"

Tommy shrugged and let out a breathy laugh. "There's no deal. Not really."

Felicity raided an eyebrow at him. "Oh please. Have you seen the look on your face whenever she is in the room? It looks like a sad little puppy."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. Felicity crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. Sighing, Tommy shook his head and gave in.

"Fine. I've known her for a while now, and I really like her, but now seems hardly like the right time to pursue anything, you know."

Felicity nodded. "I get it. Don't wait too long, though. She deserves something good."

After getting their coats and driving down the Mansion's driveway, their quest to find a bar had started. Felicity had snatched a bottle of vodka from the open bar, uncapping it as soon as they were seated on the backseat of the town car, taking a long swig, scrunching up her face at the burn in her throat. It was still pretty early to go out, so there weren't that many options, even in the wide array of nightclubs Starling City homed. Tommy suggested to go get comfort food first, stuffing away their feelings with burgers and fries. Felicity's growling stomach agreed before she could say the word, making her laugh. The alcohol was getting to her already. Drinking on an empty stomach wasn't smart, everybody knew that. Maybe she should have had breakfast, or lunch for that matter. Eating just didn't feel like a priority, and even when she did emerge from her bedroom to get some sustenance, she could barely keep it down without getting nauseous. So, it was a good thing that she was actually craving some food.

They ended up in a fairly empty burger joint downtown. It looked a little retro, with a bright red, white and yellow logo and little booths and a chrome countertop. There were only a few people inside, but Laurel promised they had the best burgers in town. A nice waitress took their orders after they settled into one of the booths near the window, looking out of the dark streets of Starling, the occasional street lamp offering its light.

Felicity took this time to look around the diner. There were a few other teens, getting noisy in the back corner, a little boy, probably not much older than four, coloring a few tables over, a couple with two kids and an elderly man drinking coffee at the counter. From where Felicity was sitting, she could keep an eye on the entrance, and she couldn't help but glance over to the door when the bell hanging over it rang. A man in uniform stepped inside. The waitress looked up and smiled like the whole universe just fell into place. She dropped the menu's she was holding on the counter and hurried towards the man. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor and enveloped her in a hug Felicity would describe as a big bear hug. The pair didn't kiss so Felicity assumed they were brother and sister rather than a couple. She knew she probably should look away and not invade on the private moment, but she couldn't make herself do it. Especially not when the little boy jumped off his chair and ran towards the soldier, wrapping his arms around his legs. The soldier ran a hand through the boy's curls, making him giggle. The waitress smiled at the two of them, touched the man's cheek and hugged him again. The soldier lifted the boy into his arms and hugged him close, walking back to the table the boy had been occupying and sitting down next to him. The waitress said something to them and then went to get something, probably her Big Belly Buster with Sweet Chili fries and she kind of hated herself for ruining their reunion because she wanted food.

"Felicity?" Tommy asked. She didn't respond at first, not really noticing that he had called out her name.

"Felicity? Are you okay?" He asked again, shaking her shoulder.

Her head snapped back to the table in front of her, gaze moving from Laurel to Tommy, who both looked at her in confusion.

"Uh. Yeah. Sorry, I zoned out for a sec." She said, smiling at both of them before glancing back at the soldier and the little boy. She didn't expect him to look up and catch her gaze. She jumped a little and blushed, but he just smiled at her and nodded at her. She smiled a little brighter and mock-saluted him, mouthing a thank you. He chuckled and turned back to the boy, wrapping his arms, which were the size of bowling balls by the way, around his shoulders and taking a pencil to color with him.

Felicity smiled and turned back to the table, just in time for their food to arrive. Tommy eyed her, but she just shrugged and dug into her burger after she thanked the waitress. It was nice to see something happy after the week she'd had.

* * *

><p>Oliver woke up to the sounds of seagulls screeching. His eyes went wide and he pushed himself off of the bottom of the life raft, leaning over the edge to see what was probably the second most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life. Land. The high peaks of the small island loomed over him as the life raft drifted toward its rocky beach.<p>

Once he got close enough to the shore, he stumbled out of the life raft, into the ankle-deep water, pulling the damn inflatable thing as far up the beach as he could. It wasn't that far, but enough to keep it from drifting away again. Oliver fell to his knees on the rocky beach. He'd made it. He'd actually made it to land alive. He could cry if he wasn't so damn over his shoulder at the life raft, his face fell. His father's body was lying cold and limp across the flooring, wrapped in whatever he had to cover him.

Oliver half fell, half sat down, burying his hands in his hair, elbows leaning on his knees. He hadn't made it. Not nearly. He still had to survive off of what little food he had left and get the hell of this island. There was nobody here to help him, and he had no survival skills whatsoever. In a burst of anger and despair he picked up a rock and aimlessly threw it at the ocean. Oliver screamed until his lungs gave out.

He had watched as his father put a bullet in the captain's head and then his own. Sara had drowned before they even knew what was happening, the Gambit was gone and he was stuck on a godforsaken deserted island in the middle of nowhere, with no sign of life anywhere near and no way of communication and he just wanted to go home.

The thought of home overwhelmed him with a wave of sadness and longing. His mother's warm smile, Thea's laughter. The smell of Raisa's cookies. His father's cars in the garage. His warm, soft bed. But mostly the girl in it next to him. Oliver laid back against the hard rocks of the beach and imagined her being by his side, like she had always been.

This wasn't just any girl. This was the girl. The girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The girl who didn't make him shiver at the thought of commitment. The girl that loved him for more than his money or his good looks, with her dyed blonde locks lighting up in the sunlight. Her smiling bright pink lips and her soft curves. He jerked upwards. He would fight. Find a way to survive. Find a way to get off of the damned island and go home. For her.


	2. Photograph

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: PHOTOGRAPH**

_Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes_  
><em>But it's the only thing that I know<em>  
><em>When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes<em>  
><em>It is the only thing that makes us feel alive<em>

_We keep this love in a photograph_  
><em>We made these memories for ourselves<em>  
><em>Where our eyes are never closing<em>  
><em>Hearts are never broken<em>  
><em>And time's forever frozen still<em>

_So you can keep me_  
><em>Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans<em>  
><em>Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet<em>  
><em>You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home<em>

_Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul_  
><em>And it's the only thing that I know, know<em>  
><em>I swear it will get easier,<em>  
><em>Remember that with every piece of you<em>  
><em>And it's the only thing we take with us when we die<em>

_You can fit me_  
><em>Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen<em>  
><em>Next to your heartbeat where I should be<em>  
><em>Keep it deep within your soul<em>

_And if you hurt me_  
><em>Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed<em>  
><em>Inside these pages you just hold me<em>  
><em>And I won't ever let you go<em>

* * *

><p>The first time she dreamed about Oliver since he disappeared was during the night the Queen's Gambit was supposed to return to Starling City. She dreamed of him waltzing into her apartment, holding a bouquet of her favorite flowers (forget-me-not's), smiling widely and swooping her into his arms, kissing her senseless and telling her how much he had missed her. He told her how happy he was to be back and that he would never, ever stay away from her for that long ever again. He told her how he hated not being able to see her smile every single day. She had chuckled at that, making him smile even wider. "See. That. That's exactly what I'd been missing out on." He murmured against the soft skin of her neck. She woke up in cold sweat, jerking upwards into a sitting position, her hand coming up to where his imaginary lips had been mere seconds ago. A ragged breath escaped from her lips, tears staining her cheeks as the realization that it all had been a dream hit her. She'd started trembling, a violent sob running through her small frame, the loud cry dissipating into the silence of her apartment as she quietly wept on. It wouldn't be the last time she dreamed about him.<p>

The dreams got worse and worse, or better, depending on the way you looked at it. They weren't nightmares, they were nice, happy. Like Oliver kissing her, taking her out for lunch, going for a walk, watching a movie while cuddled up on the couch, slow dancing at one of his mother's galas, eating ice-cream when the weather was hot. All very mundane things. The nightmare was having to wake up. So, she decided it was better if she just didn't. She spent entire days holed up in her bedroom. She took sleeping pills to keep her under. But, she was smart enough to not have anyone notice. She made arrangements with Tommy and Laurel, and even Charlotte when she came home from Stanford for the summer. They had a good cry together the first time that they saw each other after the accident. Felicity went to the Queens mansion often, visiting Thea and taking her to the zoo or the movies. Do the mundane things she did with Oliver in her dreams, well of course not the romantic ones, because that would be weird. It helped to get back in the rhythm of normal life. Slowly but surely she found herself again and she found a way to live without Oliver and Sara. The gaping hole in her chest wasn't gone, but it was wasn't the only gaining from it. Thea found joy again in Felicity's almost constant presence, Tommy and Laurel a new friend and Charlotte the normalcy and familiarity of her hometown.

* * *

><p>"Do I really have to go?" Felicity whined.<p>

"Of course not…but you kind of do."

"Tommy…" She dragged out his name.

"No whining. Please, just give it a shot. Maybe it'll be just what you need."

Felicity slumped her shoulders and sighed. "I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"Don't worry. If you're not ready, you're free to drop out. But then at least you can say that you gave it a try." Tommy shrugged.

She sighed again and nodded. "You're probably right. I need to get my life back together, or at least try to. College is a good start… I think… right?"

She nodded to herself again and looked around the small apartment. The place was just off of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology campus and she'd be calling it home for the next four years. (Or as it'll turn out, only three, since Felicity's brilliance with computers would allow her to graduate early.)

Tommy smiled softly and let out a breathy laugh. "Remember, I'm only a phone call and a bridge away. If you ever need someone, or something, just give me a call."

She smiled at him. "Thanks Tommy. I really appreciate you looking out for me."

"It really is no problem." He smiled again and stepped forward to wrap her in a hug.

"You got me into freaking MIT. That's not just nothing." She said, running her hands across his back.

"All I did was fill in the application form. You're the one with the flawless GPA and a notable internship at your dad's company."

"I did that for a month…until… you know." She looked down at her hands.

He nodded and smirked. "They don't need to know that."

Felicity chuckled and looked back up at him. "I missed the application deadline by months."

Tommy sighed and tilted his head to the side, laughing a little. "Fine. I know a guy."

She laughed and went in for another hug.

"I can't wait till Laurel gets here so she can celebrate with us." She said.

"Yeah. Me too. This weekend is gonna be fun."

"You should probably go, or you're gonna be late to pick her up, her plane is landing soon."

Tommy nodded.

"Go! I need to finish unpacking anyway."

"Okay, Okay! See you tonight!"

Felicity smiled and waved him goodbye, closing the door as he disappeared around the corner of the hallway, slowly pacing back around the tiny apartment she was moving into. She had refused her father when he had offered to buy her something bigger, and in his mind, more comfortable but the tiny little space had instantly captured her heart and it was all the room she really needed. She had stayed with Tommy for a couple of days when they went apartment hunting. The apartment he lived in still held a lot of Oliver's stuff. She thought it would upset her, and so did Tommy but the opposite seemed to be true.

She felt better because it made her realize that even though he wasn't by her side anymore, he never was completely, and utterly gone. Never truly without him. Tommy had been quite nervous as to what would happen to the apartment after Oliver had died, but it seemed Moira was aware of the arrangement her son had made and made sure that Tommy would not be homeless and could continue finishing his degree. Felicity had asked her about it a while ago and she reasoned there was already been too much hurt and pain in the world and she didn't want to have to be the one to inflict more.

Felicity slumped on the couch and sighed. She had taken a few things that had belonged to Oliver with her from Tommy's apartment. Not things that he needed himself, just some stuff that were more of sentimental value than anything else. Okay except maybe the Rolex watch she had given him for his 20th birthday, but other than that, there were mostly photos, a few records and really mix-tapes, a slightly less old Walkman, a pair of sunglasses, an old sweater and a pair of boxers, and even a Fall Out Boy cd. God, did he have terrible taste in music. She laughed a little and reached for the box sitting on her coffee table. She took out the small stack of pictures he had left behind and started flipping through them. Tommy kept most of the pictures of him and Oliver, but she had been free to take the ones of her and Oliver. There was one really old one in which she couldn't have been older than seven or eight. They were hugging each other while someone, probably Robert, also the one who took the picture, poured water over them with the garden hose. Her own face was scrunched up and she was yelling because of the cold but Oliver held her tight so that she couldn't run away. He was laughing, eyes twinkling mischievously. She smiled at the vague memory she had from that day. It had been extremely hot in Starling, as it had been the entire summer, Moira had been pregnant with Thea at the time. She smiled to herself while flipping through the stack, memories of better times washing over her. The road trip they had, trips on the Queen's Gambit, lounging by the pool and cuddling up by the fire at Christmas. Her favorite picture was a set of two made on the same day. It was just the two of them when she came to visit him here in Boston his Freshman year. It was the fall time and she was wearing a red coat and a bright smile. Oliver had his arm wrapped around her shoulders from behind, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She must have been around fifteen at that time and Oliver had to bend over to reach her level because she was too tiny. In the companion piece he was lifting her up from the ground, arms wrapped around her stomach as she laughed. She smiled at the memory and closed her eyes,resting her head on the back of the couch for a moment of was until her phone started ringing. She sighed, sat back up and reached for her phone. She didn't recognize the number, but answered it anyway.

"Hello?" Felicity said as she put the phone to her ear.

"Felicity? It's Anne."

"Anne! Where the hell have you been! I've been calling you like crazy!"

"I-uh. I'm in London. For my Master's. I got a new phone because it was cheaper. But that's not why I called, actually."

"What is it?" Felicity asked. Her eyebrows knitted together as Anne kept silent on the other end of the line.

"Is it true?" She asked after a long pause.

Felicity's mouth blurted out the first thing that came to mind, without giving her brain a chance to catch up with what she was saying.

"Is what true- oh!" The past five months flashed before her eyes. All the hurt, the pain, the grief, rushing through her head like a tsunami. A hand clutched around the necklace she had gotten from Oliver on her sixteenth birthday and a tear slipped from her eye.

"So that's a yes then?" Anne's voice broke, and she started sniffling.

Felicity swallowed and nodded, even though Anne couldn't see. "Yes, It's true. I'm so sorry. I thought you knew."

A forced, breathy laugh escaped from Anne's lips. "I moved right after your birthday and it isn't exactly big news here. Nothing in the papers unless you start digging."

"And you started digging." Felicity finished, quietly wiping away the tears staining her cheeks.

"Yeah." Anne sobbed. They were silent for a moment. Well, apart from the occasional sniffling and sighing.

"Sara and I decided to break things off after I moved. Long distance relationships rarely work out. We figured it would hurt less like that." Anne whispered after a while.

Felicity took a deep breath. "Sara didn't tell me. I assumed you two had already said goodbye when we were at the docks."

Anne started crying even harder. "I should have been there."

"I really loved her and now she just…she's gone."

"It's not your fault, Anne. Believe me, I had convinced myself that I should've done something. That I should've been selfish and demanded Oliver stay home. But I've had some time to think about it and there is nothing either of us could have done to prevent this. They're gone. And they are not coming back and we'll just have to find a way to live with that."

She was shocked at her own words, but it was true. She couldn't keep blaming herself, Oliver wouldn't have wanted it and neither would have Sara. She had to go on for them. They didn't get to live, but that didn't have to mean that she didn't either. She would live for them. To make them proud if they could see her. She would live for all the days that they wouldn't, appreciating every precious second, every beautiful sunset and all the big and small achievements.

* * *

><p>Oliver was actually amazed at the condition the picture he was holding was in. It had survived all the water it had had to withstand. The colors had faded a little, the water damage not completely absent. The corners were crooked and it had bent with strain. He had had that picture for what felt like an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than a few months. He had lost track of the number of days he had spent on this godforsaken island. He knew every little detail the picture held. It had been taken in the blissfully happy month he had spent with Felicity before he went on the Gambit. She was biting her lip playfully, his head resting on her shoulder in mock exasperation.<p>

He smiled softly and put the picture back into his wallet, where it belonged but he highly doubted he needed it here. The wallet that is. Besides that, it was the safest place he had for the picture right now.

Oliver looked up at the man who had both shot him with an arrow through his shoulder and saved his life. He wore torn trousers and a hooded vest in a dark green shade. For camouflage, he supposed. His hair was long and dirty, just like his beard. Oliver wondered how long he had been here. He still didn't know his name and he kept yelling this one Chinese word over and over despite Oliver telling him multiple times that he didn't speak the language.

"Shēngcún" He said again, pointing at the bird he had caught earlier. Oliver stared at him in misunderstanding.

"I told you, I don't speak Chinese." Oliver groaned in exasperation, leaning back against the stone wall of the cave, wincing as his wounded shoulder made contact with the solid stone.

"It means to live." The mad suddenly said, in broken English, but in English no doubt. Oliver sat back up, wincing again as his skin pulled around the healing wound. Frowning, Oliver examined the man for a moment.

"You speak English?" He asked, receiving a single nod from the man.

"Well why didn't you say so?!" Oliver shouted.

The man looked at him sternly, eyebrows knitting together and again, he pointed at the bird.

"Kill the bird and live." Their eye contact remained for a few moments before Oliver tore his gaze away and looked at the clucking pheasant in the tiny little cage.

"Shēngcún" the man said again and turned around, leaving him in the cave alone with the bird.

* * *

><p>The year went by faster than Felicity could have ever imagined. She was feeling good, healing without even realizing it. It was good. Her life was nice, positivity made its way back into her mindset. She made some friends at MIT as well. There was Rose, a fiery British redhead with a political science major who was also a barista at a Starbucks near Felicity's apartment. She kept giving her random discounts even though she knew Felicity didn't need it, and objected multiple times. "That's what friends do." She'd say. So, Felicity decided to add up all the discounts she had gotten (quite a large sum if you considered Felicity basically lived off of coffee and chocolate chip cookies.) and gave Rose a jar full of all the change for her birthday. She didn't want to accept it at first, but Felicity just shrugged. "That's what friends do."<p>

There was Savannah, who ironically also grew up in the city with the same name. Not as funny as it sounds, according to her. She always wanted to become an astronaut, but then she got glasses. So, now she was studying to become the next best thing, studying aerospace engineering. An astronaut on the ground as she liked to call herself.

And there was Cooper and his roommate Myron, who were in computer sciences with her. It was nice to have these two guys because she could finally talk tech with someone. They wouldn't raise their eyebrows in confusion or change the subject to something while she rambled on and on about new codes she had written and wanted to test out. They were nice, and even though they both tried to advance on her, Felicity politely shut them down, telling them about Oliver and that she wasn't ready to start something new. They understood, and they made a pact to become hacker bffs and nothing else. They did occasionally dabble in some pretty questionable cyber stuff. It started with with hacking into the school's website and making it so that porcupine farting noises were playing on a loop while you would browse the site. It got them into a bit of trouble but their professor decided to give them some extra credits because he was so damn impressed. He had created the websites firewall, after all. He was a good sport about it. But their hacktivism didn't end there and it would end up in something way more shadier than any of them had wanted.

But, for now, Felicity was standing in the Queen's foyer, waiting for Thea so they could go visit the graves and have dinner with Moira after. One year. That's how much time had passed, and Felicity was surprisingly optimistic for such a sad day. Her life was getting back on track and even though she missed Oliver like crazy, every single day, she was moving on.

"You ready to go?" Thea asked as she descended the stairs, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Felicity nodded. "Yeah."

She wrapped her arms around the thirteen year old, hugging her close.

"It's good to see you, Thea. Geez, look at how much you've grown."

Thea rolled her eyes and smile. "You sound like my great-aunt Elizabeth. I haven't grown that much."

Smiling, Felicity put a hand on Thea's shoulder. "It's been too long."

Thea chuckled. "Uhm yeah, and whose fault is that? Who decided to go to college? It wasn't me"

Felicity laughed and hugged her again. "I missed you too, speedy."

Thea groaned. "I am never going to get rid of that nickname, am I?"

"Probably not, no." Felicity chuckled and held her hand out for Thea to take it.

"C'mon." She said with a small jerk of her head. "Let's go visit them."

Thea nodded and took her hand. Together they walked all the way out to the secluded area of the Queen Mansion's gardens where the two prominent gravestones were placed. The sun was just about to set, but there was already a chill in the air. Ironic, Felicity thought. They brushed stray leaves off of the stones, wiped away some of the green stains the weather had left behind, relit the candles and placed fresh flowers in the vases.

"I miss you, Oliver." Felicity whispered before pulling a picture of the two of them out of the pocket of her coat and placing it next to the burning candle. She pressed a kiss to her fingers and then placed them over his name engraved in the granite. Thea reached for her hand when she stepped back. Felicity took it, squeezing softly and putting her free hand on her shoulder. They stood in silence for a while, both lost in their own mourning. Thea sniffled and wiped a tear away from her cheek before rubbing her hand over her arm. She was shivering.

"C'mon. Let's go inside." Felicity said and Thea nodded gratefully. Felicity knew why Thea hadn't said anything about being cold. She didn't want to ruin the moment for her, but Felicity wasn't going to let her end up with hypothermia because she needed to have a good cry.

Felicity wrapped an arm around Thea and they made their way back to the mansion. Thea rested her head on Felicity's shoulder and sighed.

"I thought it'd hurt more." Thea whispered.

Felicity squeezed Thea's shoulder. "I thought so too."

Thea straightened as they stepped inside and headed towards the dining room. "But it feels like I should feel worse, like I should be more upset, but I'm not."

"I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Means you're healing."

Smiling softly, Thea took Felicity's hand and squeezed it lightly. "Thanks Lis."

"Of course." Felicity replied and pulled the younger girl in for a hug.

"We are gonna be okay, Thea. I promise."

Thea's hold tightened and she buried her face in Felicity's shoulder. Felicity just held her, because she needed that hug just as much as Thea.

"Ah! There you two are." The voice of Moira Queen rang clear through the dining room. She was dressed in her signature pencil skirt and flowy blouse combination. She smiled brightly, for the first time in a long while, as she walked towards the two girls, a tall man Felicity vaguely remembered just a step behind her.

"Felicity. How are you darling?" Moira asked, wrapping her arms around Felicity.

"I'm getting there. Mostly busy with school." Felicity smiled at the woman she considered to be her mother as she pulled back.

"How is it going? I was so excited to hear you were going to give it a try" She said, soft smile gracing her lips.

"It was quite the adjustment at first, but I enjoy the challenge, keeps my mind occupied. It's been good." She nodded to herself.

"That's wonderful to hear, sweetheart, because I wanted to introduce you to someone."

Moira stepped to the side and put a hand on the man that had been standing in her wake's arm. "Felicity, this is Walter Steele. He was Robert's CFO and current CEO of Queen Consolidated."

"Hi Walter!" Thea chimed in, going in to hug the man, to Felicity's surprise.

"Thea. How wonderful to see you again my dear." He spoke with a thick British accent. He turned back to Felicity.

"Miss Merlyn."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Steele. I heard the company is doing well."

"Likewise. It is. The company is flourishing again after the events of last year."

"Good. Good." She nodded to herself and smiled a tiny sad smile. "And please, call me Felicity."

Walter smiled and held out his hand. "Well then I insist you call me Walter."

"Alright. Walter it is." She said smiling as she shook his hand.

"Moira has told me all about your impressive academic career. A great mind like yours is hard to come across these days."

Felicity blushed and ducked her head involuntarily. She was used to the compliments about her 'beautiful brain' but still, she couldn't help but be flattered "Well thank you."

"Do you happen to have any plans for the foreseeable future? Queen Consolidated offers a great internship program over the summer. I think you would make a great fit. If you want of course."

Felicity's mouth fell open as she processed what he was saying. Moira smiled encouragingly at her, urging her to accept the offer. Felicity let out a breathy laugh and smiled.

"Oh wow. That would be incredible. QC has always been ahead in the technology department and it would be an honor, really."

"Wonderful. I think you and I will have a lot to discuss over dinner."

"Will you be joining us for dinner?" Thea asked him.

He nodded. "Yes. Your mother invited me. I hope that's alright, I wouldn't want to intrude." His gaze met Felicity's and she realized he was asking her for her permission. He must have been quite aware that this was supposed to be their little family dinner that he was technically crashing, but she couldn't really say she minded. Walter seemed like a mind alike her own, and she would never say no to an intelligent conversation. Not that Moira and Thea weren't intelligent. Gosh, how did she even manage to ramble in her own thoughts, geez.

"Of course! The more the merrier." Felicity smiled. "I heard Raisa has prepared her famous Beef Stroganoff?"


	3. Thousand Miles

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: THOUSAND MILES**

_Too far away to feel you_  
><em>But I can't forget your skin<em>  
><em>Wonder what you're up to<em>  
><em>What state of mind you're in<em>  
><em>Are you thinking 'bout the last time<em>  
><em>Your lips all over me<em>  
><em>'Cause I'd play it in a rewind<em>  
><em>Where you are I wanna be<em>

_Wanna fly to you like birds do_  
><em>Straight across the world<em>  
><em>My body, your hands move<em>  
><em>And I'm missing every word<em>  
><em>You are mine, yeah you say so<em>  
><em>When you call me late nights<em>  
><em>But I wonder how should I know<em>  
><em>You're in love enough to fight<em>

_Fading away, when you're drunk and alone_  
><em>Can't see my face in your heart anymore<em>  
><em>Telling yourself you don't feel like before<em>

_And that's when I run_  
><em>All of these thousand miles<em>  
><em>That's when I run<em>  
><em>All of these thousand miles<em>  
><em>To get you back<em>  
><em>Coming for you, babe, I'm coming now<em>  
><em>That's when I run<em>  
><em>All of these thousand miles<em>  
><em>To get you back<em>

All he could think about was running, and how he needed to be faster to have a chance at escaping from the ARGUS agents chasing him. He was breathing heavily, the sun burning on his skin, beads of sweat dripping down his back and forehead, but he couldn't give in now, he had to do everything he could to get away from Waller's man. Pushing his body to its limits was the least of his concerns. He ducked for some lanterns and just managed to dodge a group of tourists and their guide. He ran through the crowd as fast as he could, never looking back, instead on the search for an out. In his hurry he managed to snatch a man's cellphone, but he was unsure what to do with it. Ducking into an alley he managed to dial his mother's phone number but the man chasing him caught him and shot the cellphone from his hands from at least twenty feet away. Oliver had to admit, he had wicked good aim, but he didn't have time to revel in the man's talents and so he sprinted away again. Luckily, he'd always been a runner.

Hurdling a stack of boxes, he managed to put some distance between him and his pursuer. Oliver looked over his shoulder, relieved when he didn't see Waller's man but in doing so, he knocked over a merchant and his stand of sunglasses. There was a lot of yelling, but he honestly couldn't care less. He came to a stop on a busy intersection, glancing around, looking for an escape. That's when he saw it. An internet café. A spark of hope ignited deep inside of him as he ran across the busy street toward the ratty looking building.

He crashed inside, uncaring of the looks and stares thrown his way. He threw a guy off his chair and worked as fast as he could to get into his email account.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon." He cursed under his breath as the browser was loading his account.

For a split second, he noticed all the unread e-mails, recognizing some of the names -her name- and the tiny dot turning green that indicated that he was online before he snapped his attention back to the current situation. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was still safe, he opened a new e-mail, selected his mother's email address and started typing.

He didn't get to finish. There was a lot of yelling and from the corner of his eye he saw the guy on the computer across from him run out of his chair. Oliver stilled as panic rose within him. Waller's man had caught up with him and gunned down the monitor from the door opening.

She froze completely when she saw the green dot popping up on her screen. Her fingers stilled over her keyboard and she completely forgot what she was just about to type. This couldn't be true. No, she wouldn't believe it. It was her mind playing cruel tricks on her. He couldn't. No. She chastised herself and swiveled around in her desk chair to force herself to look away from that tiny green dot. Oliver Queen was dead. There was no way dead men would access their email accounts. It was probably just some PR person removing the account or maybe a random hacker, trying to have some fun. A terrible hacker, that was, because she could have hacked into that account without having triggered the account alert in her sleep. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and squeezed her hand into a fist to stop it from fidgeting. She could just take a peek to make sure. There was no harm in that, right? Wrong.

What she found took her breath away.

A automatically drafted email with one and a half finished sentence.

**Mom, I'm alive. I'm in Hong Ko** It read.

No. No, no, no, no, no. Felicity closed her eyes, willing the drafted e-mail away. Taking off her glasses, she started rubbing her fingers against her temples in an attempt to ease the growing headache. She was gonna figure this. She would find out if Oliver, her best friend, the man she loved was still alive and she was gonna bring him home. Her fingers moved to her keyboard and didn't stop until she found the answer.

The elevator doors dinged and slid open. Felicity took a deep breath and walked out into the hallway, her heels clicking against the marble floor. She walked up to Walter's assistant's desk. Lucy, she thought her name was. She was nice.

"Ah! Miss Smoak." She said, a warm smile on her face.

"Mr. Steele just asked me to call for you."

Felicity's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why?"

Lucy smiled. "I'm not sure, but you shouldn't worry. He only ever has praise for you. I doubt what he wants to discuss is anything but positive."

Felicity looked down at the clipboard she was holding, clutching it a little tighter to her chest and smiled softly. "Thanks."

"Go on, dear. You can go right in." Lucy said.

Taking a deep breath, Felicity nodded and walked towards the glass door leading into the ornate executive office. Walter's chair was facing the window. He was on the phone in what sounded like Japanese. Felicity shifted her weight between her feet as she waited, occasionally glancing down at her clipboard, tracing the tip of her index-finger along the letters of the e-mail she'd printed out.

**Mom, I'm alive. I'm in Hong Ko **The words were already haunting her, laughing at her, mocking her like she was going crazy. She blinked a couple times and snapped out of her daze to realize Walter had hung up the phone and was looking at her expectantly.

"Felicity? Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She let out a huff of air and shook her head. "Oh…uhm, I'm fine. Sorry, I just zoned out there for a bit."

She stepped closer to Walter's desk. "Why did you want to see me?"

"Ah, yes. I've got quite exciting news. You see, I want you to 'interview' for the position of Junior Marketing Executive. The position just opened up and I think you'd be a wonderful fit. If that goes how I imagine it will go, I want you to come to Las Vegas with me to oversee the management in our new QC branch there, so I can teach you a few tricks of the trade."

Felicity's eyebrows knitted together. "I.. I feel honored, but I really can't."

"Why not?"

She shrugged "Well, first of all, I don't have a business degree and I don't know the first thing about marketing. I really don't think that would be a smart move for a company like Queen Consolidated."

Walter smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "Felicity, you are probably the brightest young woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You are not only smart, but creative and you know your way around a computer. You don't have to worry about not being qualified enough."

Taking a deep breath, she continued. "And second. I'm gonna need a few days off. That was actually why I was coming to see you."

Walter frowned. "And why is that, if I might ask."

Felicity didn't say anything but instead handed him the e-mail she had printed out.

"What's this?" He asked, eyes raking over the piece of paper. And then he froze. Felicity tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and waited, allowing the new information to sink in for a moment. Walter's hands started shaking and he staggered back, falling against his desk. He leaned into it for support and looked at her questioningly, worry and pain and so much confusion and disbelief in his eyes.

"Everything checks out. No signs of intrusion and no digital footsteps left behind. I traced the IP-address back to Hong Kong." She said quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

Walter looked back down to the paper, checking if it was all still there and this wasn't some crazy hallucination."And you wanna go find him?"

She nodded, pressing her lips into a firm line. Sighing, Walter put his hands on his desk on either side of him and studied her face.

He put a hand on her shoulder "Felicity, are you sure about this? Moira cares a lot for you, and so do I, but she would kill me if I let something happen to you. Or worse, divorce me."

She smiled softly.

"I have never been more sure about anything." She said, squaring her shoulders and straightening her back.

"I can't actually tell you no, right?" Walter asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

Felicity smiled a little. "Nope. You do that and I'll quit."

Walter released a deep sigh and nodded. "Alright. Take however long you need to find him and bring him home."

"Thank you." Felicity said.

"But I really do wish you'd reconsider the position. It'll still be here when you get back."

She smiled and shook her head. "Thank you, I really appreciate the offer, but I prefer my place in IT…" She paused for a second, eyes squinting a little. "… Actually, I might know someone better suited for the job, literally, cause he wears a suit most days nowadays."

She chuckled at her own joke and then shook her head to get herself to focus. Walter chuckled, long accustomed to Felicity's antics. He found it quite amusing and endearing.

"I mean…He just quit his job at Merlyn Global. He was in marketing there too, but we both know my dad isn't the world's greatest boss. Anyways, I think he'd be perfect for the job. And for Vegas too. He grew up there, so he won't get caught up in gambling or anything."

Walter chuckled. "Alright, what's the man's name?"

"Oh! Right! Tommy Smoak. Harvard graduate. I'll send you his contact information. Gotta go pack for Hong Kong." Felicity said smiling, almost skipping out of Walter's office.

"Felicity!" He called out after her.

She turned on her heel. "Yes?"

"Be careful, dear."

Felicity smiled softly and nodded. "I will. But maybe don't tell Moira and Thea about this? I don't want to give them false hope."

Walter nodded. "Good luck."

Taking a deep breath, Felicity nodded and smiled again, turning on her heel. Pushing through the glass door, she smiled at Lucy and headed towards the elevator. She was gonna find Oliver and she was gonna get him home.

Reluctantly, Oliver stepped out on the rooftop. He knew he was acting like a stubborn teenager and he didn't care. Crossing his arms over his chest he followed Maseo to the edge of the roof.

"We'll take our position here." Maseo said, putting the case he had brought on the edge of the roof, opening it up to reveal a sniper-rifle.

"Who's your target?" He asked as the other man started unpacking the gun, assembling it like it was the most normal thin in the entire universe.

"I don't have a target. You do." Maseo said calmly.

Oliver eyebrows flew up into his hair. "What?!"

"It might have escaped your notice, but Amanda Waller doesn't have a sense of humor."

"Oh! Really?! Then why'd she drag me off of Lian Yu and bring me all the way to Hong Kong to become her hit-man?!"

"To become her operative. Obviously she needs you for something or she wouldn't be threatening my family to assure your compliance."

Oliver looked away, grinding his teeth.

"The target will be entering our line any moment."

Groaning, Oliver took the rifle from him. "Damnit." He muttered under his breath as he placed the gun on the edge of the roof and positioned himself so he could peer through the scope.

"The target will walk ten paces through the roof garden and arrive at her hotel suite."

Oliver jerked his head up at Maseo. "Her?"

"Yes. Now focus. That's your only window."

Letting out a huff of air, Oliver shook his head and looked through the scope again. He counted three people. Two hotel staff members, carrying luggage and a blonde, with a ponytail in her hair. He pushed back the memories that flooded his mind, trying to stay focused on the job, but the images of a laughing Felicity's laughing face, her smile and her beautiful blonde hair were making it hard for him to concentrate.

"I see it." He said, aiming the gun at her head.

"Now." Maseo said.

Oliver's finger tightened on the trigger, just when his target turned around in her high heels, glancing around at the tall buildings surrounding her, glasses perched on her nose and that all too familiar smile on her face. Holy crap. This could not be real. Oliver felt dizzy, his grip on the rifle slipping, his aim wandering.

"Felicity?!" Oliver exclaimed, unknowingly clenching his fist and firing the rifle, completely missing its target, thank god.

The bullet shattered a window, Felicity's head whipping around to see the damage before turning back around and immediately spotting them on the rooftop. She moved almost too fast for Oliver to see, he was pretty much frozen in place, but she pulled an actual gun from her purse and started firing in his direction.

"What the…" Was all Oliver could say before the bullet grazed his arm and Maseo pulled him down. His head was spinning. What the hell had happened to the girl who wouldn't hurt a fly. He clearly hadn't been the only one that had changed over the last two years.

"No, dad. I'm not coming back."

"You have a life and responsibilities here in Starling."

"You still don't get it, do you? You just can't understand that you're not the center of the entire universe, that someoneelse might be more important to me than you."

"You got shot at yesterday!"

"I told you. I'm fine. You taught me how to protect myself, and I did. I think I might have hit the guy, actually." She couldn't help the chuckle that escaped from her lips.

Malcolm sighed."Felicity, listen to me, you're pressing pause on your entire life based on false hope. We both know how heartbroken you will be if you don't find are you doing this to yourself?"

"Because. If there's a slight chance my best friend is still alive, then I'm going to find him and bring him home."

"Oh please. I know how you felt about him."

"It doesn't matter how I feel about him."

"Did you really think that relationship was gonna last? Oliver wasn't a good guy, Felicity. I thought you were smarter than to fall for his playboy charms. He was only using you like he did all the other girls."

"His life might be at stake here and I'm not going to sit back and wait for him to die a second time."

"You know what? Screw you. What Oliver and I had was real and I'm not gonna let you get into my head. You know nothing about love or putting someone else's needs before your own. You left me, alone and scared after mom died, to go God knows where. I needed you then more than I need you know so why don't you just go back to banging your Pilates instructor and leave me alone."

She ended the call with an angry grunt and sent her phone flying across the hotel room. Running a hand over her hair she took a deep breath and leaned against a pillar, looking out over the busy streets of Hong Kong.

Oliver hated having to do this to her, but considering it was this or a bullet in her head, he didn't think he had much of a choice. Swallowing back the lump in his throat that had formed while he was listening in on her conversation with her father, he took a steadying breath and pulled the face-mask up over his nose.

He pushed away from the wall he was hiding behind and sneaked up on her as quietly as he could. Like Lian Yu had needed him to be, as Slade had taught him to be. She was like the innocent, unsuspecting prey to his lurking predator.

The hand holding the cloth covered in chloroform twitched as he got closer to her and in the next moment, he grabbed her around her waist and pressed it against her mouth. She struggled, he knew she would. She grabbed the hand covering her mouth and dug into the pressure points, causing his hold on her to slip as he winced in pain. She kicked him in the shins and turned away from his grasp, turning his arm around with him, sending him to his knees. He yelped in pain of the strain forced onto the muscles in his arm. He saw a hint of a wicked gleam in her eyes. Of course she was enjoying this. God, she looked so hot with that little smirk. But, even though it seemed like he was losing this battle, Oliver knew she had only a little time left before the chloroform started kicking in. He just needed to stall her, and preferably get her to inhale a little more of the chemical.

She was backing away from him only to come at him with the force of her run-up. He stood up just in time and caught her fist mid-air. She struck out again, this time with her other arm, but he quickly deflected it. They engaged in a one-sided fight. She kept attacking, although slower and slower as she began to feel the drowsiness the chloroform caused. He never attacked her cause he didn't want her to get hurt. He pulled his punches where instinct kicked in and when she put all the force she had left into a roundhouse kick. Oliver dodged it and watched her knees buckle underneath her. He caught her just before she could hit the floor. Pulling the facemask down, he sighed softly and adjusting his hold on her so he could hold her up with one brushed the mop of blond hair away from her face with his free hand, fingers trailing along the side of her face. He figured this moment might have been his only chance to really be near her. He cupped her cheek and leaned down to press a kiss on her forehead. Taking off her glasses as a precaution, he hauled her up in his arms, bridal style, and carried her out of the room, down the maintenance stairs and out the backdoor of the hotel to where Maseo was waiting with the car. He made it clear in his expression that he didn't like this and sat wordlessly in the backseat of the car with Felicity in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder.

"You clearly care for her. Don't let that cloud your mind, let it make you strong. To let her live, you must not reveal yourself. I hope you'll make the right decision." Maseo said as they pulled into the parking lot of the abandoned warehouse Felicity was being fake kidnapped to.

Everything was black when she woke up, and hot. Or at least, her head was. Her toes were freezing and her legs shivering. She could feel the goose bumps forming on her arms. speaking about her arms, they were tied behind her back, the strain pulling on her muscles. she started breathing heavily as she recalled the last thing she remembered. She had been taken.

Suddenly the blackness was gone replaced by bright light shining in her face causing her to squint against the sudden brightness.

"Felicity Merlyn." a low, distorted voice said tauntingly.

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh everybody knows your name sweetheart. Daughter of the CEO of Merlyn Global."

"What do you want from me?!" she yelled at the darkness. she couldn't see the person but she knew the general direction he or she might be. Right in front of her, behind the lamp shining in her eyes. Without her glasses, she shouldn't even be trying to see a face, but here she was, tied up, staring into general nothingness, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she tried desperately to get some ID on her attacker. It was no use, the light would blind her before she could see a face.

"You're here looking for Oliver Queen." the voice said and she frowned

"How do you know that?" she asked quietly, stunned.

"A simple hack into his e-mail account and I knew someone would come looking for him."

"I had expected his mother, or his sister. But you. You are going to make me very rich, darling."

"Whatever you're asking I can assure you my father won't give it you. He'd rather let his daughter die."

"Oh I really doubt that. And I sinceriously hope you won't get to find out."

"You just made that up. That's not actually a word."

He kept quiet, so she continued.

"Sinceriously. I doubt it's in the Oxford dictionary. You should've said sincerely. Or seriously. both are good."

Oliver had trouble hiding the smirk that was splayed across his face. He knew she was fishing for answers, trying to get a response from him. Sinceriously was their word. Oliver had blurted it out once at a party when he had had a few drinks and it had stuck. Felicity would always remind him it wasn't actually a word. She was testing him. He always managed to underestimate how smart she actually was. But he wouldn't fall for it.

"That's what you're focusing on right now?"

"Better than the impending death. And who knows, maybe I'll melt your heart."

Oh she already had and she had no idea. He was full-blown smiling now. This girl. Gosh, she sure was something special. A force to be reckoned with. And how he loved her so.

That was when they heard the sirens and Oliver knew he only had seconds left with her. He heard Maseo shouting and he made the fastest and possibly stupidest decision he had ever made.

"I'll get it in the dictionary." He fell for it as fast as he fell for her.

And then he was gone, leaving behind a wide eyed Felicity. Pulling at her ties as Maseo, dressed as a police officer, came to her rescue. He cursed at himself for being such a dumbass, but he couldn't help it. The flicker of recognition in her eyes made it all worth it. She knew he was alive. Or maybe just suspected it, and that just made him want to get home to her even more.

Felicity put the bottle to her lips and took a big gulp of red wine. She was back in Starling City, had been for a few weeks now and currently sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table in Laurel's apartment. Ever since Oliver and Sara went on the Gambit, that's what they called it, their little get-togethers had become a bi-monthly thing. They could rant, drink, grieve and cry without anyone judging. Felicity looked at Tommy as he was smiling at Laurel. She was pouring him a drink, but something seemed off. Not off, as in wrong, but different.

"You two slept together, didn't you?" She said,narrowing her eyes.

Laurel's eyes went wide and she jerked her head up at Tommy. He pursed his lips and swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"Maybe." He said, earning an elbow in the ribs from Laurel.

"You said we weren't gonna tell anyone until we figured things out."

"Laurel, it's _Felicity_. She was gonna figure it out anyway, whether we would tell her already or not."

"That is very true. I just did, actually." Felicity shrugged, taking another sip of wine.

"God, I love red wine." She murmured at the bottle. The alcohol was kicking in already. Good. She was going to need it.

Laurel sighed an nodded. "Alright, but that's all you need to know."

"But you guys are a couple, right?"

Neither said anything.

"Oh come on! Tommy has been pining over you for as long as I've known him. That's three years, Laurel. And probably even longer because he may have told me he liked you at the funeral."

"Felicity!" Tommy said sternly.

"What?! You wanna be her boyfriend or not?"

Tommy swallowed and looked down at his feet.

"Is that true?" Laurel asked, sweet smile on her face. She was definitely amused.

"Maybe…probably…Yeah…" Tommy said. Was he blushing?

Laurel kissed him. Arms wrapping around Tommy's neck. It took him a second to realize what was happening but he quickly responded by pulling her on his lap, hands on her back as he pulled her against him.

"Really, guys? Now is really not the time to have sex. I need to vent." Felicity complained, taking another sip from the bottle of wine.

She didn't know how much she was going to tell them about her trip to Hong Kong. That she didn't find Oliver. Yes. That she got kidnapped and suspected her kidnapper had actually been Oliver. Probably not.


End file.
